AUNT NORA!
by Twisisters
Summary: emmett's cycopathic aunt Nora pays a visit! includes vengeful beavers, a high bella and mike newtons death
1. It's me again!

**Disclaimer: I don't own twilight.**

**This is a random idea that I came up with 3 minutes ago.**

BELLA POV

"Edward?"

"yeah?"

"I love you"

"I love you more"

"no, I love you more"

"no, I love you more"

"no, I love you more"

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!"

"ALICE! ALICE! WHATS WRONG?!" Jasper ran upstairs into Alice's bedroom, Edward and I ran after him. Alice was standing in the middle of the room in 'vision mode' as everyone called it.

"ALICE! WHAT DO YOU SEE?!?!"

"AUNT NORA!!!!"

"CRAP!!!!!!"

"I KNOW!!!!!"

"SHES COMING IN FIVE MINUTES!!!!"

"AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!"

"Umm…. Am I missing something here?" I asked Alice.

"Aunt Nora is Emmett's old aunt that drank the immortality potion from the philosophers stone, She's also a bit psychopathic."

By now, the rest of the Cullens had come into Alices room except for Esme, who was vacuuming downstairs.

"WE HAVE FIVE MINUTES!!!" yelled Carlisle, sounding hysterical, "what are we gonna do?!?!"

Then suddenly, knock, knock, knock, "Ill get it!" I heard Esme say from downstairs.

"ESME!! NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Carlisle ran out of the room and jumped downstairs, I heard the door open……

"it's me again!!!"

**CUE DRAMATIC CLIFFY MUSIC**


	2. a thousand rubber chickens!

**SORRY, THIS CHAPTERS SHORT, BUT ITS GOT THE PACK IN IT, AND…. SOME OTHER THINGS I DON'T WANNA SPOIL BEFORE YOU READ IT.**

**DISCLAIMER: Sadly enough, I'm not Stephanie Meyer, *sob***

"AUNT NORA!!! AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!!" I heard Esme scream.

CRASH! CRASH! BAM! "ESME NOOOO!"

"YOU RUINED MY FINE CHINA!!!!!!" Esme shrieked, We all ran downstairs to see Esme glaring at Aunt Nora, there were pieces of the couch and Esmes teapot collection all over the floor, Aunt Nora is in deep shit.

"Reneesme, Emmett, do your thing." Carlisle said.

"Whaa?"

Reneesme ran outside and started howling while Emmett ran around in circles shouting something about rubber chickens.

The la push pack burst through the door in wolf form, Sam lunged at Aunt Nora, Aunt Nora saw him and shot lightning bolts out of her eyes that fried him.

"YES! Uh... I mean NOOO! SAM!! THIS MEANS WAR!!!"

Then, a thousand rubber chickens burst through the ceiling.

"NOOOO! MY ONLY WEAKNESS!!!" Aunt Nora screamed, she ran into Carlisle and Esmes room, climbed into the wardrobe and locked it.

"We have to get her out of there!" Rosalie shouted as she tried to pick the lock on the door. "Ummm…. Rosalie?" "Yeah?" "You're a vampire, just smash it open, _dumb blonde_"

"OK!" Rosalie said with a little too much enthusiasm…

SMASH! "Whoa... That was fast…" "LET'S FIND HER!" Emmett shouted, we all climbed in…

The inside of the wardrobe was massive! I ran around in circles, occasionally tripping over things until I was completely lost.

I walked forward a bit more and I saw a light coming from the left, I ran towards it and climbed out of the wardrobe…

When I got out, the Cullens house looked different, especially since it was snowing and there were trees everywhere, I saw a lamp post a few meters in front of me.

I remembered this place from somewhere but I didn't know where. Then, a MASSIVE beaver walked past me and said "Good morning, are you new here?"


	3. EVIL Vamp beavers

**DISCLAIMER: I'm NOT S.M, I KNOW, SHOCKING!!!**

**THIS CHAPPIES A BIT LONGER.**

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!! EDWARD!!!!!!"

"WHAT?"

"THERES A TALKING BEAVER!!!" Edward came through the wardrobe.

"what the f…?" "hello, are you new here?"

"STAY AWAY FROM MY HUMAN!!!!!!"

"Edward! Aunt Nora's over there!" I pointed at her,

"DIEEEEEEE!" Edward ran at her and stabbed her in the arm with a spork he pulled out of his pocket.

"NOOOOOO!!! MY ARM! HOW DID YOU KNOW THAT WAS THE SOURCE OF MY POWER!?!?!" she shrieked as she melted into a puddle.

"ooh, that's a spot of bad luck, eh?" said the beaver.

"SHUT UP YOU STUPID BEAVER!!!" Edward yelled at it

"Did I hear beaver?!" shouted Emmett as he came out of the wardrobe too.

"YOU AGAIN?!? DIE!" Emmett yelled. He ran forwards and bit the beaver.

"eeew! You taste disgusting! C'mon guys, let's go."

"Emmett! NO!!!"

**MR BEAVER POV**

"Oh, my arm hurts quite a bit"

"ow"

"ow"

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

_**3 DAYS LATER…**_

"hello? Mr beaver? Are you there? "said Lucy

"Hello Lucy…" she smelled nice, nicer than she used to.

"you smell nice Lucy."

"….uh… okay thanks"

Automatically, I ran up to her and bit her on the leg, she screamed and struggled but eventually she was drained.

"Lucy? Lucy? LUCY!! You killed her!" the rest of her family and Aslan had come, I drained them all and ran towards the wardrobe.

**ALICE POV**

I was having a shower when I had a vision, There was Emmett standing outside Esme and Carlisles room, then suddenly a massive pale beaver with red eyes came out and bit him on the leg.

**(END VISION)**

I heard Edward scream, "WHAT?!?!" I got out of the shower.

"The beaver Emmett bit is out for revenge…"

"Uhh… ookaay.." Bella said

"CAN I KILL IT?!?!?!" Emmett shouted,

"sure… I guess."

**LATER**

"Five… four… three… two… one… GO!" I shouted, the beaver came out of the wardrobe, Emmett jumped on it and ripped it to pieces,

"FIRE! WE NEED FIRE!"

"OKAY" I pulled a match out of my pocket and set the pieces of beaver on fire.

"MUAHAHAHAHA"

"Oooh…. Pretty purple smoke!" Bella said

"Uhh… Bella? Are you ok?"

"I like purple smoke!" Bella walked into the fire….

**MUAHAHAHAHA!!! EVIL CLIFFIE!!**


	4. DIE MIKE NEWTON!

**DISCLAIMER: I'm NOT S.M!!!**

**Sorry I haven't updated in a while**

**(this chappie is a bit more gory than the others)**

**APOV**

"THE FIRE, IT BURNS!!!!" Bella screamed and burst into tears, we watched in shock as she smashed through a window, got in Rosalie's car and drove off.

"BELLA!!!" Edward screamed and ran after her, smashing another window in the process.

"MY CAR!!!!!!" Rosalie screamed so loudly that most of the windows and glass objects in the house smashed, she ran after Bella too.

"ROSE!!!" Emmett smashed through another window and ran after her.

"CARLISLE!!! OUR WINDOWS ARE BROKEN!!!" Esme dragged Carlisle out to the garage and drove off, smashing yet another window. All of those windows will cost a lot of money to replace.

Me and Jasper look at each other for a moment, shrugged and walked away.

**BPOV**

I was driving through the streets of Forks at over 150kph, swerving all over the road and smashing into things, making lots of dents in Rosalie's car, I felt high. The windscreen had shattered and I had several shards of glass sticking out of my forehead and there was blood splattered everywhere.

"AAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!" Mike Newton was screaming and running away from the car, I slammed my foot on the gas.

"DIE MIKE NEWTON!!!!!!" I started laughing maniacally. BAM! More blood covered the remains of the bumper and windscreen.

I finally got to my destination, La Push, I saw Edward but I made it just in time.

I ran out of the car and jumped off the cliff into the water.

**SETHPOV(would do Jacob, but Seth's awesome ********) (don't comment about Seth's awesomeness plz, unless you like Seth too ********)**

"AHAHAHAHAHAAAAA!!!!!" I saw Bella driving towards me with blood and glass all over her face, she was laughing maniacally, and she looked a bit high, she was also on fire.

She stopped near the cliffs and jumped off before I could ask what was wrong with her.

I ran into the forest, wolf-inated and sent Jacob my thoughts.

A few seconds later, Jacob came and jumped off the cliff into the water that was turning red and came out a few seconds later with Bella.

"WOOOOO!!! LETS DO THAT AGAIN!!!" Bella started shouting

"Ummm… Jake? Shouldn't she be dead or unconscious or something?"

"i….dont….know…." Jacob started backing away from Bella slowly.

"JASPER!!!!!" A blonde I would notice anywhere ran through the trees and started making out with the twisted pile of red metal that looked kind of like a car.

"Rosalie? You called your car Jasper?" I asked

"blondie?" Jacob ran up to her

"ROOOOOSSSSAAAALLLLLIIIEEEEE!!!!! I MISSED YOU!"screamed Bella

"you're on our land Blondie, you broke the treaty so now we have to kill you!!" Jacob yelled

"SHUT YA YAP!!!"

"Bella? You might not want to look." Jacob whispered to Bella

"OK!!!" Bella screamed.

**BPOV**

I closed my eyes and started humming…

"Hum hmm hummm!!!"

"AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!"

"Hum dee dum dee dum!"

More screaming and the sound of a match being lit.

"Dooo do dooo dum dee do!"

"It's ok to look now Bella"

I opened my eyes and saw that there was a fire with purple smoke coming out of it, I could see Emmett in the forest, he looked mad, really mad.

"EMMETT!!!!" I screamed and ran towards him with my arms open, he looked like he needed a hug.

Emmett stared at me, he looked scared of me,

"BACK DEMON!!!!" he screamed at me and held out two sticks like a cross.

Edward came up to me and hugged me then took me home.

**CHARLIE POV**

I was watching the game on the tv when Bella and Edward came in.

"Bella?"

"yeah, it's me, dad" **(she's not high anymore)**

I flicked the light on…

OH MY F***KING GOD!!!! WHAT THE F**K DID YOU DO TO BELLA!!?? ILL KILL YOU, YOU F**KING B***H!!!!!!! IMMA KILL YOU!!!!

Charlie ran towards Edward with the TV remote raised above his head, he smashed Edward over the head with it, it splintered into millions of pieces and one of the pieces went into his eye.

"I'M BLIND!!! HELP ME JESUS!!!" Charlie ran around in circles then fell on the floor.

"Bella, Charlies dead" Edward told me,

"…." I stood there for a few minutes,

"Bella?" Edward looked worried,

"screw Charlie!" I shouted and walked out the door.


	5. Last chappie

**SORRY, I HAVENT UPDATED IN AGES! I THINK THIS MIGHT BE MY LAST CHAPPIE, BUT I'm GONNA WRITE A NEW STORY SOON.**

**THIS IS A SHORT CHAPPIE JUST TO FINISH IT OFF.**

**I'm NOT S.M**

EPOV

I was driving home with Bella when I realised that she wasn't moving, or breathing.

"Bella?! Bella?! Are you ok?" it was then that I realised she had a shard of remote sticking out of her head. I yanked the remote shard out and realised that she was bleeding. A lot. In fact, the whole car seat was soaked a gruesome dark red colour.

I sped towards home and bashed the front door down. I saw Jasper running out of the house to get away from the smell and then Carlisle came down.

"CARLISLEBELLAHADASHARDOFPLASTICSTICKINGINTOHERBRAINANDNOWSHEISNTBREATHING!!!!" I screamed at him

(translation: Carlisle, Bella had a shard of plastic sticking into her brain and now she isn't breathing!!!!)

Carlisle looked at Bella, did some strange doctor things to her head and then She woke up.

"HIYA EDWARD!!! I WAS HAVING A GREAT DREAM!!!! I WAS A BANANNA, AND THERE WERE LOTS OF DANCING PICKLES … WHY DID YOU WAKE ME UP!!!! I DIDN'T WANNA WAKE UP!!!! YOURE A BIG MEANIE!!!! I WANNA GO BACK TO SLEEP!!!"

She bashed her head into the wall and fell unconscious on the floor.

"hello Mr. pickle!! Wanna dance!?!" she screamed, and then she started doing Michael Jackson dance moves that were a mix of the thriller dance moves and pelvic thrusts.

"ookaay….. I'll just go now…" and I left Bella dancing on the floor in a pool of blood coming from the gash on her forehead.

FINISH


End file.
